HEART NOTES ♥️

A simple shy middle class emotional caring girl..living a simple life. Not expecting anything..devoted to books and courage of ambitions.. Deeply fallen in love with God.. going to school and back.. Going to college and back...sometimes forced by my friends to hang out... Only few girls as friends.. Ruined my teen age in books .. No enjoyment No outings .. Only watching other girls having boyfriend's gossips.. Ignoring them all.. Feeling alone... Wearing simple clothes.. Having a simple haircut.. Favourite student of teachers.. Not so popular person.. Never met any boy in life..  Rarely talked to some..all they wanted the dirty talk which made me uncomfortable talking to them and thinking that boys want only dirty stuff..  Not believing them anymore.. Not my kind of pure soul..  Leaving their Bullshit behind.. Moved on... My small world revolved around my parents and siblings...

As I grow time passed.. Intelligence increased.. More ambitions in life grow.. More hard work and success in life I wanted.. Giving competitive exams by heart.. In College Got more degrees.. Expectations of life grew with confidence.. It was the result of my past hard work.. Now people say this is my attitude.. But they can't see my sacrifice for this success not even a single moment of life I wasted in enjoyment... That's life.. New opportunities in life came..  I became a known person everywhere because of my hard work..All Thanks to the almighty..

Not a very social person.. But made an account on social media.. Just to explore a new world and Spend spare time on it ..not addicted to it..  Just to play some games on it.. Got a few requests from old friends and known only..  Saw a boy with a unique name on it.. I approached him after thinking for two days... Sending him a friend request.. He accepted it after two days.. Asked him about his name but the actual one was not the same.. Happy to talk to him first time Day one ..talking to him few more days.. Showed his caring stuff and all.. But in the meanwhile, he stopped messaging me the daily text..  Got worried about it..  After a few days got a message from his side that he met with an accident and got hospitalized.. I thought it was a small one but later on, I got to know that it was a major one..

Here I started asking about his well-being just because I was concerned as of my nature.. Now as I got worried I ask daily about his well-being..because this was a unique incident in my life.. He is of a very caring nature.. Never discussed dirty stuff with me.. Maintaining my belief in him.. I also started trusting him Got a new friend other than the girl who is listening to me .. Solving my issues..  Giving me advice when he was in pain ..

Once he gave nickname to me.. I got emotionally attached to this word.. I fell in love with him on that day.. We were just texting each other not spoke on the phone..  One day he insisted me to call.. But I told him to do the same when my parents will out of the house..  I did the same..  I called him one-day First time I listened to him..  I got goosebumps... I tried to hide my feelings that I'm so happy to talk to him today behind my laughter ..

Days passed.. We exchanged numbers.. Only texting went..once I kissed him in a text message and he kissed me back by writing the same.. I fell in love with him 💕.. His nature His Voice His Caring advising behaviour His way of talking.. Laughter.. His attention-giving attitude ..i saw him only on social media pics.. His face revolved around my mind day and night..  All day we kept talking and sharing..

College friends were not so happy with my love to start may b.. Talking wrong about him that this is not your age of love this is the age of direct marriage.. Because both of you are not having jobs not settled yet.. It will take time.. Parents will not allow you both and all.. Keeping second thoughts in mind.. I sometimes ignored him.. But after listening to his lovable voice I melted every time and ignored the advice of the third parties..

That time I was deeply in love with him.. His dreams made my nights sleepless.. His voice made my day curious eager to meet him.. Talked to him daily ..day and night.. Thoughts of him every moment..  Madly in love with him.. Not happened before.. Cried for him when he ignored me.. First time in life I got to know that I'm a possessive person.. Thinking he is mine only..  Not talking to anyone Wanted to talk to him only.. Love chats.. Many Nick names..  Purely in first love.. Forgetting all other issues of life.. Asking his well being..Reading his chats three times a day.. Saying I love you and waking and sleeping listening to him only..  Secretly talking to him for hours day and night...telling him all my secrets.. Knowing his little things.. Singing love songs for him.. Writing poetry for him..i was not able to live without him.. Time passed.. Fallen very deeply in love with him ..He also loved me a lot ..

Many ups and downs of life I've seen during this period.. He accepted me as I was.. That's the most important thing I loved.. After a year we decided to meet each other..

I purchased new attire to meet him.. I purchased a shirt for him also as a gift... Very eager to see him for the first time.. Very nervous.. First time ever in life I was going to meet a boy whom I loved over the phone..

That day when I saw him.. I hugged him tight in front of the crowd there.. I don't know from where that courage came.. We sat and conversed for a few hours.. Then he came to meet me from a different place and stayed with his friends..

Next meeting he gifted me a 💍 the token of love.. I loved his voice his smile his talking ... behaviour... just like a caring child... He came to meet me every month..he told me that he loves me by heart..I Forgot the God.. Now He is my God..

After he recovered he got a job outside my town, and we were both very happy for the same.. Time passed away.. My studies ended and my parents decided to marry me.. Chosen a boy and fixed it almost.. I was in pain.. I asked him to talk to my parents.. He asked his parents first and told me to tell my parents.. I did the same.. My parents agreed with it when I forced them because his home was in a village and I had lived in a city since childhood.. I was ready to sacrifice everything for him as he told me that he also loved me and he will live out of the village for our settlement and will keep me by his side..

From his side it was 👌. Parents decided our engagement.. The first time our families met through us ..I got married to him after six months.. Dreams come true.. We were both very happy.. Gone for a honeymoon period and came back.. 

Exactly for a Year, we lived apart although he came to meet me every month ...

Now after a year, he came back to the city and we are getting settled here.. We both got a job here.. Still I can't live without him.. I always want his attention.. My craze for him is still alive.. I want his pampering nature..

Today for the first time I got deeply hurt.. For the first time, I realized no body actually loved me .. All manly love here is for consideration.. If you love me then I'll do this for you otherwise who you are.. Everybody wants their work done form others... Of course, parents love their children..Gave everything I needed to me... My siblings always took advantage of me and kick me off when not in need.. My friends did the same.. Everyone always tried to overpower me ..dominated me... I always cared everyone. They think I'm expecting something getting in return if I'm caring for someone...  Leave, I don't care about anyone except My Husband..

Today I feel that I sacrificed every single penny for him.. Every emotion for him..Every dream for him.. Lived in torn things.. Gave each and everything to him..Listened bad taunts of parents.. Society and my own siblings..  Ignoring all, I kept moving by his side.. 

Moving he also don't want to talk to me as may be I'm too possessive and want him to like old one.. But may be he is busy in settling down his career ..he needs space.. I'm just telling myself grow up and don't be so weak .. I think I have to change my nature.. Not to over think.. No more possessiveness.. No more expectations from any one.. Just to take everything lightly in this world.. As whatever we see in this world is not true...

As the life goes on.. No body will remember you once you gone.. It's not worth to finish your life for the sake of Crazy Human Love... It's all about stop thinking too much and be calm.. Back to God.. Don't expect anything from anyone.. Just play your part of Life as everything here is mortal.. Will be finished one day..  Do your best for yourself.. Keep yourself busy in improving you day by day.. Remembering God all the time... No body will love me More than Myself.. I don't want to sleep without talking to him Nor I want to wake up without seeing him.. This is all because of individual differences.. Every one has different personality and viewpoint..

I think people are normal in love but My side love is always been Rare, Uncommon or Unique.. Full of Craziness..Madness.. Insanity.. Not normal..  Not wasting a single moment without love..Always thinking of my love whether busy or idle.. As this one single life is too short to be wasted without love.

As I also got a new job we both were very happy and busy with our daily chores. After two years of marriage, we decided to have a baby. I got pregnant and spread the news everywhere. Took so many blessings from my parents and relatives. My husband cared a lot. After many health checkups and rest We were blessed with a baby.